Once was lost but now is found

At times this was a reflection that I wasn't sure I would ever write about. The irony is that despite the fact that I haven't really had my brother in my life for several years now at the beginning of the school year I did a creative writing project with my students. Usually I write along with them mainly so that they won't keep asking my opinion of what they have written so far. As a result I get the opportunity to do something I love, and frankly don't have enough time to do. The writing prompt was to write about something important to you that you had lost. Most of the entries from my students dealt with objects and materialistic things. Often I don't share my writing with them, but for some reason I felt the desire to do so. Below is the writing I wrote that day.

Many people have lost things in their lives. A shoe, a set of keys, once when my daughter had a friend over her chocolate brown hamster was lost for a few frantic minutes. Luckily all of these things were recovered, even the hamster who was hiding under the couch. Yet I have lost something much more valuable to me than keys, shoes or a favorite pet. I have lost a person, a human being, my brother. Unfortunately for me this loss hasn’t yet been recovered.

            My brother was amazing. He is 8 years younger than me. His given name is Patrick, but we always called him Patch for short. Growing up we fought once, over the channel switcher of course. We thought alike on nearly everything. He was goofy and loved to play practical jokes. Once after my husband and I were first married, my husband Ken opened the bedroom door to find our family dog standing over a pile of vomit. Patch walked up and took his hand and slammed it straight done into the chunky pile of puke, only to grab it quickly up and fling it away. Patch had secured a fake plastic pile of vomit and had staged the dog to be standing over it to make it look real. That was Patch’s way. He loved to make people laugh. He was an unbelievable artist. Likewise he was a very talented musician. Everyone is put at ease with him, and I have never met anyone who doesn’t like him.

            I am aware that I am speaking of him in the past tense, and yet he isn’t dead, at least not literally. In middle school Patch started using drugs. After years of therapy, rehabilitation groups, countless family arguments, lies, stealing, arrests, and the usual roller coaster ride of dealing with an addict Patch still uses drugs. I haven’t spoken to my brother in nearly four years. To be honest I am not even sure where he is currently living.

            Inside when I allow myself to think about it I mourn for the loss that I face. I regret what might have been. For the Uncle my children will never know, for the adventures I don’t see partaking with my only brother, for all the things he has given up. Perhaps that is why I feel so compelled to work with middle school students. When I look in their faces every day I hope to be able to have a second chance with my brother to prevent them from giving up the dreams he forsake, to alter the path for them that my brother took. One day I hope to recover this major thing that I have lost, but for now my one wish is that none of the students I work with would ever have any of the negative factors in their life that my brother deals with on a daily basis. Instead I hope that each of you will carry on his artistic ability, his humor, his musical ability, and his creativity. I look for his life to be lived through each of you.

Many of the students I work with have similar situations with family members. Because of this writing I was able to connect with them in a way that neither one of us had done before. Little did my students or myself know that things were going to dramatically change. For the first time in many years my brother made contact with our family. Immediately we were all able to notice a change, and a desire from him to connect with us. I shared these changes with my students and they responded with an enthusiasm for his changes. I received letters from him and was able to correspond with him in a way that we never had before. I opened up to him and in many ways let my guard down. My children have always been curious about Patch, especially Midge because she still has memories of him. I have always believed in being honest with them and we discuss where he has been and why. 

Finally after some time Patch was able to work his way back up here. I was able to see him for the first time in 5 years a week and a half ago. There was still a part of me that wasn't sure how he would be, and yet I was blown away with how well he got involved with the family again. My children were instantly drawn to him. They had been so excited for him to come up here and were so happy he was finally here. I know that he has been through a lot, but I am so proud of the changes he is making and the progress he is making. I think he knows the long road that is ahead of him, but I also think he is aware of the tremendous support system he has cheering him on. There are so many people who love him, and I am so glad that he is in a positive place.

Being an Auntie

This past week my sister and her kids arrived from Maryland. As soon as they arrived all of the kids got along great and immediately started playing together at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Corvallis.

The kids have this game they like to play where they set up a trampoline at the end of the hallway and they race down and do tricks off of it. Midge was moving so fast the photo made her look like a ghost. 

Logan was quickly introduced to the game.

Then it was outside to play in the water. The weather was so hot this past week with the temperature reaching 108 in Corvallis.

The sneak attack at the woman with the camera (otherwise known as mom).

Story time with Mimi

This is my little niece Bella. She gives the best smiles and facial expressions.

We convinced my parents to bring back this little car from my grandparents house in Utah and the kids love it.

Leo giving Bella and Logan tips of driving.

I love this picture of Bella. "Who let me get in the same car as this crazy driver". Logan would slam on the gas launching them forward and then abruptly stop. It was quite the bumpy ride.

Little Miss loves Mimi's house what with the dogs and Mimi who she also calls Mama.

Papa also got out the motorcycle to give rides.

A little kiss for good luck.

Snuggle time with my nephew Logan.

Little Miss was so excited when Papa came back on the motorcycle because she knew it would now be her turn. 

The whole gang with Mimi and Papa.

We wanted to get a picture of all the cousins together. It isn't easy.

Especially when dogs keep getting in the shot.

We finally got this shot when my mother picked up the dog and made her start dancing in the air.

The car wash turned into a kid wash.

Shauna and her kids are going to be here all month so there will be more pictures. Plus my brother Patch is flying in from California today so there will be more pictures of that as well. 

snuggles section by Midge

I got snuggles . we named him snuggles because

if you get him out he will snuggle in your hands.

Hi my nickname

is Midge.

snuggles has black , brown and white

fur he is a hamster.

We one day got out snuggle and

put a obstacle course up for him.

Me and my dad always wanted

to set him in a real obstacle course.

When you get a hamster look at its

eyes. If it has droopy eyes you do not

want to take it.

On the side he has scent glands it mostly

helps him to see.

Snuggles can have oat meal ,lettuce,

a crumb of cake to. we once took

him to my grandmas house and

a dog named roxy bit snuggles.

He was ok but he was bruised.

One Way to Cool Off

One of the main joys of living in Thurston is being so close to the McKenzie River. On Saturday the heat and lack of things to do was getting to the kids. They were fighting like crazy and thus they were getting to Ken and I. Ken suggested we head up river to a place we affectionately call "Cunningham Park".

The kids loved playing in the water...

helping dad release his fish...

running on the lawn, and just enjoying the late evening on the cool river.

Don't let this picture fool you. First of all she is faking that she is sleeping and for several minutes before this picture she was screaming her head off.

If this picture doesn't sum up summer for me I don't know what else does. 

I love these two pictures of Maddy capturing her beauty in constant motion and a moment of pausing.

I tried getting a cute picture of the three together. Good luck.

This is the best we got.